Terrible Twos at Three!
I always heard of the "Terrible Twos" and believed in them until my oldest child turned 3! I thought the worst was over with the temper tantrums, crying because his granola bar broke in half and much much more but was I wrong. I learned pretty quick that with 3 brought on a whole new set of behavioral issues and he was able to communicate them to me. At three he started to negotiate and reason with me about his behavior. He tried yelling at me, stomping away, slamming doors, throwing toys, oh the list goes on and on. I realized quickly that his world was changing everyday and he was trying to figure it out. I was told he was a "perfect" kid at preschool ( I was home that year pregnant with my 2nd child ) but I soon realized it was a Jekyll and Hyde situation. The moment he got home he lost control.
At this point I started to realize that I needed to bring a bit of my knowledge of managing a classroom of 3 year olds into my home. I made sure I remained calm with every behavioral outburst, knowing that at 3, or any age for that matter, the child is looking and learning from your reactions. I made sure not to overwhelm him with too many toys, limiting the number of items out and available to him. I rotated his toys when I saw he no longer showed interest in them and brought in fresh ones to add excitement. Dinner time was the most challenging. My son wanted to help but being pregnant and tired, I'll admit there was little patience left. Giving him a job to do each night seemed to help. Sometimes it was to "wash the veggies" or cut the cucumbers or set the table. A choice was always given and that was empowering to him. He felt helpful. I tried to allow him to make choices about his day whenever possible. These choices were not drastic in nature, but rather simple everyday choices. For example allowing him to choose whether or not to wear a coat on a 20 degree day was not acceptable, however, allowing him to choose which hat to wear, the red one or the blue one was.
Perhaps the best advice I can give to any parent of preschool age children is to be consistent. If you make a rule make sure it is followed. If you take a toy away for misuse tell your child the actions he needs to take to earn it back and STICK TO IT! If you say no to dessert because of their behavior, do not give them dessert. You know your child best. Each child is very different and although we had to take different discipline approaches for each or our 3 children being consistent was the most significant across the board. This sets a foundation for security, respect and behavior later in life when the choices and behaviors of your child will have a much greater impact on their life.
At this point I started to realize that I needed to bring a bit of my knowledge of managing a classroom of 3 year olds into my home. I made sure I remained calm with every behavioral outburst, knowing that at 3, or any age for that matter, the child is looking and learning from your reactions. I made sure not to overwhelm him with too many toys, limiting the number of items out and available to him. I rotated his toys when I saw he no longer showed interest in them and brought in fresh ones to add excitement. Dinner time was the most challenging. My son wanted to help but being pregnant and tired, I'll admit there was little patience left. Giving him a job to do each night seemed to help. Sometimes it was to "wash the veggies" or cut the cucumbers or set the table. A choice was always given and that was empowering to him. He felt helpful. I tried to allow him to make choices about his day whenever possible. These choices were not drastic in nature, but rather simple everyday choices. For example allowing him to choose whether or not to wear a coat on a 20 degree day was not acceptable, however, allowing him to choose which hat to wear, the red one or the blue one was.
Perhaps the best advice I can give to any parent of preschool age children is to be consistent. If you make a rule make sure it is followed. If you take a toy away for misuse tell your child the actions he needs to take to earn it back and STICK TO IT! If you say no to dessert because of their behavior, do not give them dessert. You know your child best. Each child is very different and although we had to take different discipline approaches for each or our 3 children being consistent was the most significant across the board. This sets a foundation for security, respect and behavior later in life when the choices and behaviors of your child will have a much greater impact on their life.
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