Making Choices

As adults we make choices everyday.  We have had practice.  We choose what to wear, what to have for breakfast, what to eat for lunch, where to go on vacation, weather or not to do the laundry, when to go to bed, etc.  We have also had to make the important decisions like getting married, giving in to peer pressure, buying a house.  As my children grow older I realize the many "big" decisions they make everyday and I am happy that they have had the opportunity to make choices and learn through them throughout their lives.  

Making choices does not come naturally to all children.  In the classroom some children wait for the teachers to choose for them.  As their guides we direct them and help them develop comfort in their decision making skills.  We focus on the natural consequences of poor choices and the joys of good choices.  

       If we and not the children choose the task, then they think about us instead of the task 
           ~How Children Fail - John Holt 

Montessori education has been  able to adapt to the changing world, as well as, the inherent freedom of choice in the classroom, practiced since the very first Montessori classroom opened in 1907. Traditionally, children have been given the opportunity to choose the work they are drawn to, the work that feeds the inner drive of the child.   The concept of choosing their own activities leads to an increase in attention span.  The child is able to focus on the activity for as long as he likes.  Therefore internalizing the concept much easier than when an activity is chosen and is not developmentally appropriate.

      If the object meets the inner needs of the child and is something that will satisfy them, it rouses the child to             prolonged activity. He masters it and uses it over and over again - The Discovery of the Child
          ~ Maria Montessori 

Good decision making takes practice.  Give your child opportunities to make decisions, but don't make the mistake of giving them full control.  Decision making needs to be structured.   Instead of, " what do you want for dinner", try asking them if they would like "pasta or chicken".   When "bad" choices or decisions are being made you can still empower your child.  If they want 2 books before bed but the rule is, or you stated just one,  try giving them the choice between going to bed right now without a story or with one story.  The choice is theirs.  Praise good choices and give your child support on the not so good ones.  Let them see its OK to make a bad decision.  Emphasize how they could handle the situation in a more positive way .  My hope for my own children is that confidence in their decision making skills will help them when faced with choices as teenagers, like doing drugs, riding in cars, choosing colleges etc.